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Parallelism in Lists
In speech and in drafting we often get sloppy in lists, particularly when we're on a roll. Notice how the following list shifts from a crisp series of five adjectives to a hodgepodge of apples and bananas at the end:
Powerful but Sloppy:
You're morally reprehensible, vulgar, insensitive, selfish, stupid, you have no taste, a lousy sense of humor, and you smell.
(From the film The Witches of Eastwick)
Writing, though, affords us the luxury of revising so as to gain more control of our words. Listing only apples (saving bananas for separate treatment) is called "parallelism." Parallelism means that the sentence parts joined by AND, BUT, and OR are all of the same type. If they are not, they are said to be "non-parallel." The most common kind of non-parallel structure is that in which the last element in a series of three or more differs from the other items in form. This exercise will help you to identify listed items that do not fit into the sentence properly.
The first step in editing for parallelism is to identify the items in the list. The following sentences are all correctly structured. Identify the LAST item in each list. Include all the words in the item, not just the top word.
On her sixteenth birthday Mary was pregnant, alcoholic, and addicted to cocaine.
addicted
addicted to cocaine
Identify the last item in the list:
His wife's betrayal, his children's death, and his own financial ruin drove him mad.
ruin
financial ruin
his own financial ruin
Identify the last item in the list:
The dragon fell to earth, gave a great sigh, and died during the night, much to the villagers' relief.
gave a great sigh
died during the night
much to the villagers' relief
Identify the last item in the list:
Do not take this product if you have asthma, glaucoma, or difficulty in urination due to enlargement of the prostate gland.
difficulty
difficulty in urination
difficulty in urination due to enlargement of the prostate gland
Identify the last item in the list:
The kimono fell in long, loose, whispering folds.
whispering
whispering folds
Identify the last item in the list:
John McCormack sang art songs, Irish ballads, songs by contemporary American and British composers, and always in every concert some songs that he just happened to like.
some songs that he just happened to like
always in every concert some songs that he just happened to like
Identify the last item in the list:
To pass the time, we played chess, read books, went riding, and when all else failed watched television.
and when all else failed watched television
when all else failed watched television
watched television
television
Now you are asked to find the SECOND item in each list. This will be the easiest item to find, and it will help you to find the others.
Candide was kicked out of his home, lost his love a few times, was beaten, was nearly killed a few times, but kept on going.
was beaten
lost his love a few times
Item 2, which has a comma before it and a comma after it, is always easier to find than item 1 (which has no comma before it) and the last item (which has no comma after it).
What is the second item in the sentence you looked at earlier?
The kimono fell in long, loose, whispering folds.
If you had any trouble finding the last item in that same sentence earlier, wouldn't it have been easier to find if you had also looked at the second item and then chosen a unit that resembled the second?
In the box type the last item in the list in the following sentence:
The music tumbled forth in rapid, urgent, tumultuous sobs.
Problems in list structure almost always appear, if at all, in the last item. One reason for this is probably that we postpone dealing with anything difficult. Therefore, you are being asked to locate the last item in a list so that you can learn to proofread for errors there, and you are also being asked to find the second item because it is easy to find and will serve as a model to which to compare the last item.
Copy into the box the last item in the list:
April is a crueller month, a more painful season, a far more fretful time of year than mellow October, when everything simply goes to sleep.
Copy into the box the last item in this list (find the second and then find the last one, making sure it is the same type of unit as the second):
Identify the last item in the list:
Many a youth and many a maid had been out to the meadows, come back, and had breakfast before Corinna could be roused from sleep.
Identify the second item in this list:
The computer began to boot slowly, freeze up, corrupt files.
The computer began to freeze up
began to freeze up
to freeze up
freeze up
Identify the second item in this list:
Because of pride, students usually resent being patronized, sometimes take unnecessary risks, and on rare occasions act like the "class clown."
Because of pride, students usually take unnecessary risks
Because of pride, students sometimes take unnecessary risks
sometimes take unnecessary risks
take unnecessary risks
Identify the second item in this list:
Ricardo intended to give the interview, pick up his check, and spend the weekend in Monte Carlo.
pick up his check
intended to pick up his check
Ricardo intended to pick up his check
Identify the second item in this list:
The railway carriages had no windows, no sanitary facilities, and too little room.
facilities
sanitary facilities
no sanitary facilities
Which one of the following statements tells how to locate the second item in a list?
The second item comes between the first pair of commas in the list.
The second item repeats some word in the first item.
If all the other items in the list were omitted, the second item is the one that would make sense with the remainder of the sentence.
The following test can locate 90% of all problems in parallelism:
1. Locate the second item in the list (between the first pair of commas):
The railway carriages had no windows, NO SANITARY FACILITIES, and were overcrowded.
2. Determine how much of the rest of the sentence must be read with this branch to complete a thought:
THE RAILWAY CARRIAGES HAD
3. Read each branch with the stem in turn, to reveal the underlying sentences.
The railway carriages had no windows. [O.K.] The railway carriages had no sanitary facilities. [O.K.] The railway carriages had were overcrowded. [problem area]
Since the last reading ("had were"?) is nonsense, the sentence does not work.
DIRECTIONS: In the following sentence, identify the second branch (the second item in the list).
I have all the symptoms: nasal congestion, sinus pain, and a scratchy throat.
all the symptoms
nasal congestion
sinus pain
a scratchy throat
DIRECTIONS: Identify the stem of this sentence (the part that constitutes a complete sentence when read with the second branch).
Conrad saw what had to be done: play hooky, recapture his garter snakes, and scare away the new nanny.
Conrad saw what had to be done
saw what had to be done
what had to be done
DIRECTIONS: In the following sentence, identify the second branch (the second item in the list).
Ancient Celtic warriors wore a sword and shield, wore blue clay on their faces, and excited themselves to frenzy before battle.
wore blue clay on their faces
blue clay on their faces
blue clay
DIRECTIONS: In the following sentence, identify the stem.
Ancient Celtic warriors wore a sword and shield, wore blue clay on their faces, and excited themselves to frenzy before battle.
Ancient Celtic warriors wore
Ancient Celtic warriors
Ancient Celtic warriors wore a sword and shield
DIRECTIONS: What is the stem of the following sentence?
Be sure to clean under the range, above the doors, and behind the refrigerator.
Be sure
Be sure to clean
DIRECTIONS: What is the stem of the following sentence?
Before they became stars, Lucille Ball, Betty Grable, and Eve Arden all appeared in THE GREAT ZEIGFIELD.
Before they became stars
all appeared in THE GREAT ZEIGFIELD.
appeared in THE GREAT ZEIGFIELD.
Before they became stars . . . all appeared in THE GREAT ZEIGFIELD.
DIRECTIONS: What is the stem of the following sentence?
Stop exercising if you experience pain, feel faint, or become short of breath.
Stop exercising if you experience pain
Stop exercising if you experience
Stop exercising if you
DIRECTIONS: What is the stem of the following sentence?
If you feel pain, faintness, or shortness of breath, stop exercising immediately.
If you feel pain
If you feel
If you feel . . .stop exercising immediately.
stop exercising immediately.
Now that you can identify the stem and the branches of sentences containing lists, you can test sentences for correct parallel structure. Which of the following sentences is correctly put together?
Those responsible for the failed Kremlin coup are (a) weakened, (b) discredited, and (c) such an attempt will be impossible to repeat.
The failure of the Kremlin coup has (a) weakened those responsible, (b) discredited them, and (c) made their effort impossible to repeat.
Which sentences below are correctly constructed?
His task was to slay the dragon, rescue the maiden, and to get the heck out of there.
His task was to slay the dragon, rescue the maiden, and get the heck out of there.
His task was to slay the dragon, to rescue the maiden, and to get the heck out of there.
Which sentence below is correctly constructed?
Syphilis is not something that you can just ignore and expect to go away.
Syphilis is not something that you can just ignore and it will go away.
Reading the stem of the sentence with each branch is a good first test of parallelism, but it will miss 10% of the problems, so you will also need to compare the branches (the listed items) to see whether they are all of the same type: all apple branches or all fir branches, so to speak.
Choose the sentence that seems best to you.
Was he cautious or cowardly?
Was he cautious or a coward?
Choose the sentence that seems best to you.
She had no one to turn to and cry on.
She had no one to turn to and comfort her.
Choose the sentence that seems best to you.
After class and you have moved around a little, you will feel more awake.
After class is over and you have moved around a little, you will feel more awake.
Choose the sentence that seems best to you.
When I came to America, I was a very happy and energetic man.
When I came to America, I was a very happy man and full of energy.
When I came to America, I was very happy and full of energy.
Choose the sentence that seems best to you.
Advise her to wish for better days and that crying is useless.
Advise her to wish for better days and to cry no more.
Choose the sentence that seems best to you.
Frankenstein thinks of himself and his creature as one, thinks that he himself "was the true murderer."
Frankenstein thinks of himself and his creature as one and that he himself "was the true murderer."
Choose the sentence that seems best to you.
I'll stop drinking once I get a job and married.
I'll stop drinking once I get a job and get married.
I'll stop drinking once I find a job and get married.
Choose the sentence that seems best to you.
A good paraphrase must not add anything to or subtract anything from the author's meaning.
A good paraphrase must add nothing to and subtract nothing from the author's meaning.
A good paraphrase must not add or subtract anything from the author's meaning.
A good paraphrase must add nothing to the author's meaning and subtract nothing either.